EDITORIAL | DRUGS
Written by Liam Hansen (they/them) | @liamhanse.n | Editor-in-Chief
Illustrated by Gabbie De Baron (she/her) | @gabbie.indd | Graphic Designer
At what point do we admit that Aotearoa has a drinking problem?
We all silently know it’s the case - admitting that you’re sober or just generally not a huge fan of alcohol will usually get you side eyes rather than looks of admiration, and your choice of poison will often dictate how people read you at whatever shitty house party or basement gig you’ve ended up at. You’ll have a superiority complex drinking wine, a horny emotional breakdown drinking Soju, and you’ll feel like Willem Dafoe’s rat twink from Fantastic Mr Fox drinking cider.
I’ve recently ended up reliant on a cold beer (or ten) at any given social function where I have to act like I’m not terrified of everyone in the general vicinity. While my general aura is more reminiscent of a hipster craft beer enthusiast, I’ve aimed to beat stereotypes by drinking the cheapest lager available at whatever venue I’m in - usually a can of Gisborne Gold, firmly crushed in my hand after I downed it five minutes into a set at the late great Wine Cellar.
I lean on a vague autism diagnosis I informally got when I was four to justify my need for alcohol at gigs and such. I’ll tell myself it’s a social lubricant, a potion of charisma that lets me go from a quiet gay nerd to a gay nerd that’s kind of funny - but in reality, the environment around me and the way I'm acting don’t really change. It’s just a mindset shift, as I lose the usual anxieties that hold me back from interacting like a normal person and make me seem like a bit of a dick.
The thing is, there are other ways I can fix that. I can take my actual antidepressants, and work through the emotions that tell me I’m not entertaining without a few drinks in me. I can suck up my pride and accept the fact that I’m kind of annoying, and people are allowed to not interact with me if they don’t want to. Or, better yet, I can stop convincing myself that I’m annoying in the first place.
But the drinks are a bandaid - a temporary solution to my inherent awkwardness that gets me through the night and makes the next time I see the people I was with sober slightly more embarrassing. Sure, some of my best memories of the past few years have been drunken ones - but it’s hard to say whether that’s because alcohol has made my social life better, or because I’m barely ever hanging out with people past 5PM without a drink in my hand. Besides, can I even remember the shitty times I’ve had while drunk?
I spent last weekend with a Gizzy Gold in my hand, watching The Beths belt out the last-ever set at The Wine Cellar before the back wall gets knocked down and the space becomes Double Whammy. They played the intro of ‘Just What I Needed’ by The Cars on repeat, slowly encouraging sound engineer and venue owner Rohan Evans to come on stage and sing it along with them. He did not want to, and very nearly got out of it until the crowd managed to kindly pressure him into taking the microphone - at least for a verse and a chorus before he scuttled back behind his sound desk.
The new space will be ushered into existence this coming Saturday, the 17th of August, with Whammy regulars Dick Move, Na Noise, Grecco Romank, Dbldbl, and Filth playing the new, 400 capacity venue to a crowd of dancing drunks. Whammy is often a safe space to drink, with people generally looking out for you and bar staff responsible enough to hold back liquor if you’re too drunk (don’t ask how I know this). I will be there, with another beer in my hand, having a great time as we welcome in a new era of Auckland live music. I reckon you should buy a ticket, grab a few drinks to support the venue, and rock out with me - but know your limits.
On that note of my ideal place to consume my ideal drug (Gizzy Gold at Whammy), read on for shouts of other drug stories - LSD, mescaline, wine, anti-depressants, cocaine - have fun vicariously taking all of these drugs, and check thelevel.org.nz if you think about doing any of them to find out the safest methods and risks. Get them checked, take them in a safe place, and don’t watch any Yorgos Lanthimos films afterwards.
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