My Father Turns Me Into an Alcoholic: Pairing Campus Kai with Student Wines
ARTS & CULTURE | DRUGS
Written & illustrated by Stella Roper (they/she) | @stellyvision | Arts & Culture Editor
My current diet is reminiscent of that of a classic student meal - instant ramen and Sensational Chicken, which is not exactly what you would call a ‘refined palette’. This is compared to my winemaker father, who has worked in the fun grape juice industry for over 20 years and got cursed with a kid who has no interest in wine.
Despite this contrast, a stroke of genius has recently hit! What better way to elevate my taste buds and impress my friends than by using my father’s wine knowledge and letting him pair some wines with some of my most commonly eaten kai? Because I’m a nice person, I’m letting you too, dear Debate reader, take a glimpse at the most glorious (and student-friendly) wine pairings. Dearest Dave has never faced a challenge like this.
While prices will go up and down with inflation, sales and such, these selected wines are all around or under $20.
Stella’s Pick: Peckish Cheddar Cheese flavoured crackers
Cheese is so very expensive. Describing a $14 cheese block as an “extra low” price truly bring you down to earth. You know what isn’t expensive right now? Peckish Cheddar Cheese crackers. I would happily trade two dollars for some ultra-flavoured snacks. No, I do not want to address the sadness of eating cheddar cheese-flavoured crackers because actual cheese is so expensive. Thanks for understanding.
Dave’s Recommendation: Sauvignon Blanc
Sauvignon Blanc, pronounced “sow-vuh-nyon blongk”, is a white wine (hence the ‘blanc’) with a refreshing sharpness. Dave recommends this as the saltiness of the crackers will go well with a light high acid wine such as this. Sav is a very student-friendly wine, with most bottles we looked at in supermarkets being under $15! Put this one in the fridge for an hour before opening for optimum tastiness.
Villa Maria Private Bin Sauvignon Blanc ($13.99 at Pak n’ save)
Montana Affinity Sauvignon Blanc ($10.99 on sale at Pak n’ save) Lower alcohol option
Stella’s Pick: Shin Ramyun
I love Shin Ramyun. With its spicy, salty aroma, Shin is a perfect blend of heaven and small green squares that vaguely resemble vegetables. This delectable noodly broth is my ride or die. While I am hurt by the price hike in the past few years from $1.50 to $3.20 and beyond, cough Break Time cough I will never leave Shin’s side.
Dave’s Recommendation: Gewurztraminer
Now this one looks like a tongue twister, but I’ve been assured the only thing your tongue will be doing is gracefully chugging down this drink. Gewurztraminer, pronounced: “ga-VERTZ-trah-mee-ner”, is a white wine with a low acid content, typically providing aromas of rose petals, lychee, cinnamon and ginger with styles that vary from bone dry to a sweet late harvest. The Gewurztraminer Dave has selected is on the sweeter side, as it will balance the spicy heat of Shin Ramen.
Seifried Gewurztraminer ($14.99 at Pak n’ save)
Mission Estate Gewurztraminer Hawkes Bay ($16.99 at Countdown)
Stella’s Pick: Steak and Cheese pie
Nothing beats the adolescent mood-swings of Tāmaki Makaurau weather like a warm steak and cheese pie. When I’m feeling particularly fancy I pick the Big Ben ones - however, it usually ends up being whatever is cheapest. There’s something about the damp pastry of a dairy pie, despite being left under the heated light for hours, that will always leave me in a state of confusion and nostalgia. Perhaps it is that mystery that makes me keep coming back…or maybe just low iron.
Dave’s recommendation: Aussie Shiraz
Pairing one classic with another, Dave recommends an Aussie Shiraz with your pie. Quoted directly from the source, these Shiraz are “classic gluggable big reds from over the ditch. They do it well!” After adding “gluggable” to my dictionary, he assured me there was nothing more to say as the wine would speak for itself. So who am I to not trust the man who’s been in the wine biz since I’ve been in the womb? Precisely.
Jam Shed Shiraz ($12.79 on sale at Pak n’ save)
Wolf Blass Red Label Shiraz ($14.99 at Countdown)
Stella’s pick: Veggie Samosa
While our Editor-in-Chief, Liam, is more attached to the humble veggie samosa than I, you can’t deny the impressive impact that this triangle-shaped godsend has had on university populus. Often filled with ingredients like potato, peas and onion with a dash of curry powder, the samosa is a perfect parcel of nutrients for the student on the go. Hearing the delightful crunch of a corner part is just one of those simple pleasures of life, you know?
Dave’s Recommendation: Pinot Gris
Pinot Gris, full name Pinot Grigio, pronounced: “pee-no gri-jee-oh”, is a white wine with a fruity vibe. Enjoys long walks on the beach and is a Cancer rising. Think pears, apples and a layer of citrus with this one. Pinot Gris is a very versatile variety, allowing easy drinking to soak up the potato in the samosa, ensuring to match well with any spice that may be in the snack.
Thornbury Pinot Gris ($11.90 on special at Countdown)
The Ned Pinot Gris ($15.79 at Pak n’ save)
Stella’s pick: Original Oreos
I am well aware of the Oreo cream shrinkage conspiracy, and yet, they still are an immovable part within my food pyramid. While I have been a regular consumer of Oreos for some time, I have yet to pin down which way is best to consume this scrumptious treat. I go between eating them whole or taking them apart, for no real reason outside from momentarily stalling the process of going through most of a pack in a sitting.
Dave’s Recommendation: Riesling
Dave was not entirely pleased with the concept of me eating Oreos with wine, however, he is a good sport so didn’t walk away just yet. With another white wine, Riesling will provide a zesty grapefruit aroma with “flinty undertones”, whatever that means. “While the match is a bit of an outlier, the right Riesling will be delicious. They can sometimes be hard to find in a supermarket, but look out for these cheap quaffers!” While I proceed to also add “quaffers” to my dictionary, make the most of some good deals that can be had with select Riesling.
Stoneleigh Riesling Marlborough ($12.90 on special at Countdown)
Jacob’s Creek Riesling ($10 on special at Countdown)
Stella’s pick: Sensational Chicken, Spicy Chicken burger
Accompanied with the mandatory chicken salt chips, this burger feels like it could solve all my problems. The incorporation of pickles is greatly appreciated and deserves its own sentence. If I ever had the opportunity to receive a Sensational Chicken voucher, I would start thanking my parents, the Academy and that bus driver who let me on when I left my hop card at uni. I sincerely hope every Debate reader experiences this delectable combo meal, as it has certainly changed my life and depleted my bank account.
David’s Recommendation: Prosecco
According to the man, myth and legend: “Fried chicken and sparkling wine is an easy go-to.” Within this sensational pairing, we are faced with the sparkling wine: Prosecco, pronounced “pruh-seh-kow”. Prosecco is like the younger sibling of Champagne, unbothered by them always taking the limelight, as they know both can be equally drinkable. Dave has provided the dearest ‘Debaters’ with wine options that are two different styles: One dry (Bosco), and one a touch sweeter (Jacob’s Creek).
Bosco Sparkling Prosecco ($14 at Countdown)
Jacob’s Creek Reserve Prosecco ($13.79 at Pak n’ save)
Stella’s pick: St Pierre's Salmon and Avocado sushi
Look, I know it’s overpriced and not at all means close to what ‘good’ sushi is, however, just let me have this. While location-wise it’s accessible, this tasty lunchtime favourite is not exactly accessibly priced. Ah yes! I remember the days of $6 ‘Sushi of the Day’, it seems so long ago now. Simpler times…
Dave’s Recommendation: Pinot Noir
A common favourite, the red Pinot Noir (pronounced “pee-now nuh-waa”) is a household staple. Being the second most planted grape variety behind Sav Blanc, I’d imagine out of all the wines mentioned so far, this one would ring some bells. Pinot Noir is known to hold an oaky smokiness, with hints of deep plum or black cherry, depending on the region the batch originates! Father states that “a young fruity pinot noir is a good choice with fatty fish like tuna and salmon.” Have at it!
Dashwood Pinot Noir ($16 from Countdown)Diggers Law Pinot Noir ($23 on special from Countdown)
Stella’s pick: Thai Sweet Chilli Doritos
Yum, yum, yum. These never get old. I’d like to think everyone reading this knows what Thai Sweet Chilli Doritos taste like, so I don’t need to explain the obvious. But just in case you live under a rock, or have some Dorito allergy, they’re a nice mix of tang and sweetness which leaves you feeling that you could eat 100 bags at once. A friend once told me these chips were spicy, and I think my brain erased who said it so the comment wouldn’t permanently damage our friendship. Understandable brain.
Dave’s Recommendation: Rosé
Rosé! Just say “rose” but pretend you’re Canadian at the end. I like this wine purely because it’s a cool pink colour. From my limited experience, I’d say it tastes how it looks. Take that as you will. According to you-know-who, this is “definitely a challenging food to pair, however, the salty spicy Doritos will tend to go well with the fruity drier-style Rosé.”
Yealands Rosé ($12 on special at Countdown)
Sacred Hill Rosé Original ($13 on special at Countdown)
May you use this document wisely, and pretend you know everything there is about this funny fermented grape liquid. I hold no responsibility for anything connected to this article. All I ask is to be responsible, drink in moderation (ideally with Shin Ramyun at your side) and deadname Woolworths. Curse your noodle price-hikes, Countdown.
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