The Neurospicy Hustle of an International Student

FEATURE | MAHI

Written by Anonymous | Contributing Writer

Illustration by Gabbie De Baron (she/her) | @gabizzlesizzle | Graphic Designer

In the year 2021, my bone doctor made a passing comment that made me rethink all the future plans I had previously thought of for myself in the years prior: “You know, with the grades you have, you could try studying overseas.” My mother, who was accompanying me, laughed and agreed. 

Prior to this moment, it had never occurred to me that studying abroad would be a realistic option to consider, and yet, at that moment, I seriously thought about it. There was an allure to the prospect of exploring a place I’d never been to before, building connections in places I previously couldn’t reach. I started to build a desire for it.

When I clarified with my mother later on if she really thought it was a good idea or if she was just making conversation with my doctor, she said that if I really wanted to, I could. With that, I had my eyes set on a study experience overseas. Three years of preparation followed.

I just graduated from high school in my country at that time and over the height of the pandemic, I decided to take a gap year (against the protest and complaints of my parents) and took a good and hard look at myself. My mental health was less than ideal (down right in the depths of a dumpster fire), even more so than my previous years. I knew that the state I was in simply wasn’t going to cut it if I were to attempt studying at the university level, much less university overseas, much less even trying to live day-to-day. And so, a very uncomfortable, tedious, EXPENSIVE, and confusing journey to advocating for my mental health ensued. 

It’s been three years since then and what I’ve learned so far about myself is that I am depressed, and anxious, with possible ADHD, Autism, and (this one is for sure) PTSD. Simply put, white-knuckling my way through life was not going to be a sustainable way to live. Was I surprised? Given I have a family history of neurodivergence, no. But that does not mean it was easy to accept, especially if these conditions were not acknowledged for what they were in my family (even with the family history already present). Nevertheless, I moved forward. 

I evaluated my options and landed upon New Zealand as my country of choice. It took three years to complete the preparations needed, and by the time the February 2024 intake for Auckland University of Technology rolled by, I was ready (or at least my documents were). I was granted a Student Visa which I had to renew yearly. This visa allowed me to study full-time and work part-time for up to 20 hours per week during the semester, and full-time during scheduled breaks and holidays. Given how expensive being an international student is, and it is VERY EXPENSIVE, I knew I had to find part-time work in order to afford my living expenses. I prepared in advance having saved up some cash with side jobs prior to coming to New Zealand. But with just the weekly cost of rent, that could very quickly be depleted. My parents are, thankfully, supporting my tuition fee and first few months of living expenses so I had the time to search for a job. 

During my first month in New Zealand, I immediately started job hunting through Seek. I clumsily made a resume and applied for jobs online. I didn’t get any results from that, barely even a rejection. I was just outright ghosted (damn them). 

When my semester started, I tried a different strategy. AUT has something called the Employability Lab where students can seek aid when it comes to employment, especially for graduates. They offer workshops for creating your resume & cover letter, your LinkedIn profile, and a bunch of other things that would help make you more “employable”. I attended multiple workshops and had my resume reviewed. It was very informative and helpful and it gave me a sense of direction–and even hope.

And so, I kept applying, even going to places the old-fashioned way and handing the managers of establishments my resume.

A very important detail–since I am on a Student Visa which I must renew yearly, employers are hesitant to hire me for permanent part-time work since my stay in New Zealand is not guaranteed in the long term. I tried to play to my strength, which is writing, however, I am not allowed to be self-employed and therefore am not allowed to take self-contractual work. This makes it extremely difficult for me since most of the work prospects that I previously had experience in involve commissioned written work.

At this point, I’ve tried multiple ways already, but to no avail. On top of this, I often worry that by admitting to my struggles with mental health (by seeking help), I unmask my neurodivergence and make myself vulnerable to prejudice in a work environment. I’ve found myself being extra careful in my interactions with people, just in case I do something less socially acceptable (whatever that means). In my opinion, New Zealanders are more accepting of different types of people. Still, you never truly know if mental health struggles or neurodivergence would be something you’d secretly be discriminated against for having, as if being on Student Visa isn’t enough of a struggle. 

Eventually, I ended up going to a career expo at AUT wherein I found a company in the hospitality industry that would hire someone like me as a casual employee. It mostly involves manual labour but I don’t mind as the hours are flexible and I finally get a means to financially support myself to a degree. 

Finding employment as a neurodivergent international student is a long and arduous process that may involve a lot of obstacles, rejections, and self-doubt. But, being able to study overseas is an opportunity to expand your horizons which a lot of people don’t get the privilege of experiencing. So, despite the difficulties (and multiple mental breakdowns), I can close my eyes and breathe in gratitude for making it here. However sometimes, especially in my low times, I can’t help but curse my bone doctor. She could’ve just shut her mouth (just kidding, kinda).